Overwhelmed

I have felt extremely overwhelmed. I haven't been sleeping well. I've been getting migraine headaches. So many things going through my head. How are we going to do this financially? What can we cut out financially? How will we ever pay off the loans and credits cards? Which honestly, is just silly. We own two cars that are both paid off. Things get paid off. They just do!

The biggest question and fear....what if we don't get approved to adopt? I know! I can hear all my friends and family saying, "What?! Of course you will get approved!" And I really can't imagine not getting approved, but knowing that we have to get approved, also means there is always that chance. It's very easy when you want something so bad to get caught up in all the fears.

The biggest concern about getting approved is, we haven't found a home church since we moved to this side of town. This is a requirement for this agency. I know many don't understand and think it's silly, but we get it. It's a faith based agency and it's also a very wonderful agency. I really feel they are the agency for us. During my freak out about getting approved, we researched and called some other agencies, which many have suggested we do anyway. The one's that we called sound wonderful too, but we already feel so connected with CCS. It's hard for me to go another direction once I feel connected. And as my husband said, this is just another blessing. It's given us the push we need to find a home church. We go to church, but haven't found the one that feels like 'home'. There were so many little things we loved about the church we joined when we first moved here and we may be doing too much comparing, which is not fair.

We tried a new church this past Sunday that someone I know goes to and we really liked it. A lot, but it's just a little too far. It's farther than the church we were going to and are hoping to find a closer one. We did a Google search and listened to a sermon from a church close to us, and even though we haven't gone physically to the church yet, we think we found our church!! Sounds crazy, but my husband and I are both so excited to try this church this Sunday. The sermon was God sent. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It was about prayer. I have a very hard time praying for myself and praying for specifics. I believe in the power of prayer, and yet feel selfish if I pray for myself. Or maybe it's just another fear. If I pray for it, it won't happen. *sigh* What is that?! I mean really? Apparently I have some issues. *insert laughter* Don't we all though. The pastor touched on 4 things about Powerful Prayer: Pray Night and Day, Pray with Passion, Pray Together, and Pray Specifics. He also talked about the importance of having a prayer book. I had something similar when I was younger. I had a God box. I put my 'specific' prayers in this box and I'm not sure why I ever stopped. So, I'm starting a prayer book! I know this will also calm my heart. Prayers may not get answered how we think they should be answered, but they do get answered.

Here's a link to the sermon. It's really worth listening too. :)

So, I feel overwhelmed for now, but I know it will all be worth it. I also know that God's got this. He has been with us on this entire journey. He has led us here. He has changed our hearts. He's opened our hearts to adopting a child because He knows how much we will love the child He has chosen for us. And in the midst of stress and fear, there is hope.