I feel as I'm in a bubble separate from the rest of the world. I'm so grateful to my friends that understand and are compassionate to how overwhelmed and stressed I feel at the present time. I promise to be back to my normal self soon. This process has literally consumed all of me and trying to balance everything else feels like an impossible task. This is an exciting time and I want to embrace and enjoy each step. This too, is not an easy task. It's crazy that you can be so excited about something, but still feel overwhelmed by it. This Friday I'm going to a women's group and I know the break is going to be good for me.
We've got our fingerprints, done with the applications (yes, plural), have finished most of the other paperwork, and are almost done with the book we are required to read. So, things are getting done. It feels like it's at an extremely slow pace, but it's getting done. We are now trying to finish our autobiographies. Sounds easy, but it's very extensive. I feel like I have to be perfect. I know in reality they are not looking for perfect; they are just looking for stability. It's easy, as I know those who have been through the adoption process will understand, to feel inadequate. I'm the first to admit I am far from perfect. I probably won't even be the perfect parent. The one thing I do know, is in everything I do, I give my all. Which is also why this is all so overwhelming for me, because I'm giving it my all. I'm also very well aware that I only overwhelm myself. I want everything done right NOW. As so many of my wonderful friends keep reminding me, one step at a time. It will all come together.
I can hear the words of my mentor, Yvonne. "Isn't this exciting. Think of how much you are going to learn about yourself." I love her. I miss her. Her words are still with me everyday.
2/28/14
Mark Schultz - Everything To Me
This is beautiful. Grab a tissue. :)
The story behind the song:
The song:
The story behind the song:
The song:
2/25/14
Overwhelmed
I have felt extremely overwhelmed. I haven't been sleeping well. I've been getting migraine headaches. So many things going through my head. How are we going to do this financially? What can we cut out financially? How will we ever pay off the loans and credits cards? Which honestly, is just silly. We own two cars that are both paid off. Things get paid off. They just do!
The biggest question and fear....what if we don't get approved to adopt? I know! I can hear all my friends and family saying, "What?! Of course you will get approved!" And I really can't imagine not getting approved, but knowing that we have to get approved, also means there is always that chance. It's very easy when you want something so bad to get caught up in all the fears.
The biggest concern about getting approved is, we haven't found a home church since we moved to this side of town. This is a requirement for this agency. I know many don't understand and think it's silly, but we get it. It's a faith based agency and it's also a very wonderful agency. I really feel they are the agency for us. During my freak out about getting approved, we researched and called some other agencies, which many have suggested we do anyway. The one's that we called sound wonderful too, but we already feel so connected with CCS. It's hard for me to go another direction once I feel connected. And as my husband said, this is just another blessing. It's given us the push we need to find a home church. We go to church, but haven't found the one that feels like 'home'. There were so many little things we loved about the church we joined when we first moved here and we may be doing too much comparing, which is not fair.
We tried a new church this past Sunday that someone I know goes to and we really liked it. A lot, but it's just a little too far. It's farther than the church we were going to and are hoping to find a closer one. We did a Google search and listened to a sermon from a church close to us, and even though we haven't gone physically to the church yet, we think we found our church!! Sounds crazy, but my husband and I are both so excited to try this church this Sunday. The sermon was God sent. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It was about prayer. I have a very hard time praying for myself and praying for specifics. I believe in the power of prayer, and yet feel selfish if I pray for myself. Or maybe it's just another fear. If I pray for it, it won't happen. *sigh* What is that?! I mean really? Apparently I have some issues. *insert laughter* Don't we all though. The pastor touched on 4 things about Powerful Prayer: Pray Night and Day, Pray with Passion, Pray Together, and Pray Specifics. He also talked about the importance of having a prayer book. I had something similar when I was younger. I had a God box. I put my 'specific' prayers in this box and I'm not sure why I ever stopped. So, I'm starting a prayer book! I know this will also calm my heart. Prayers may not get answered how we think they should be answered, but they do get answered.
Here's a link to the sermon. It's really worth listening too. :)
The biggest question and fear....what if we don't get approved to adopt? I know! I can hear all my friends and family saying, "What?! Of course you will get approved!" And I really can't imagine not getting approved, but knowing that we have to get approved, also means there is always that chance. It's very easy when you want something so bad to get caught up in all the fears.
The biggest concern about getting approved is, we haven't found a home church since we moved to this side of town. This is a requirement for this agency. I know many don't understand and think it's silly, but we get it. It's a faith based agency and it's also a very wonderful agency. I really feel they are the agency for us. During my freak out about getting approved, we researched and called some other agencies, which many have suggested we do anyway. The one's that we called sound wonderful too, but we already feel so connected with CCS. It's hard for me to go another direction once I feel connected. And as my husband said, this is just another blessing. It's given us the push we need to find a home church. We go to church, but haven't found the one that feels like 'home'. There were so many little things we loved about the church we joined when we first moved here and we may be doing too much comparing, which is not fair.
We tried a new church this past Sunday that someone I know goes to and we really liked it. A lot, but it's just a little too far. It's farther than the church we were going to and are hoping to find a closer one. We did a Google search and listened to a sermon from a church close to us, and even though we haven't gone physically to the church yet, we think we found our church!! Sounds crazy, but my husband and I are both so excited to try this church this Sunday. The sermon was God sent. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It was about prayer. I have a very hard time praying for myself and praying for specifics. I believe in the power of prayer, and yet feel selfish if I pray for myself. Or maybe it's just another fear. If I pray for it, it won't happen. *sigh* What is that?! I mean really? Apparently I have some issues. *insert laughter* Don't we all though. The pastor touched on 4 things about Powerful Prayer: Pray Night and Day, Pray with Passion, Pray Together, and Pray Specifics. He also talked about the importance of having a prayer book. I had something similar when I was younger. I had a God box. I put my 'specific' prayers in this box and I'm not sure why I ever stopped. So, I'm starting a prayer book! I know this will also calm my heart. Prayers may not get answered how we think they should be answered, but they do get answered.
Here's a link to the sermon. It's really worth listening too. :)
So, I feel overwhelmed for now, but I know it will all be worth it. I also know that God's got this. He has been with us on this entire journey. He has led us here. He has changed our hearts. He's opened our hearts to adopting a child because He knows how much we will love the child He has chosen for us. And in the midst of stress and fear, there is hope.
2/19/14
Raining Baby Bottles!
It's raining baby bottles! My wonderful friend Linda and I found this really cute fundraising idea. The cost? Spare change! Finally, a place to put all those loose coins hiding beneath your couch cushions. ;)
The Baby Bottle Campaign is a fundraiser that friends and family can help with by filling a baby bottle with spare change. You can also help distribute empty baby bottles to friends, family, businesses, churches, schools, day cares, who ever is willing and have them collect spare change to put into the bottles. All proceeds go directly toward our adoption. You can see how this can be very fun and easy for people to contribute to a good cause. We've already filled two bottles with the change in our house!
If you would like a baby bottle, or would like to hand out baby bottles, please get in contact with myself or Chris. If you are in the Los Angeles area and would like a bottle to fill, I will connect you with my awesome friend Linda. We would love to get a few more captains in the LA/Orange County area too. I can ship you bottles from Amazon and mail you what you need to assemble the bottles. It's just a letter and bottle tag. SO easy! :) You can read all the fun details here: Baby Bottle Campaign or just click the link on the menu bar.
We already have a few friends with bottles...THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!
The Baby Bottle Campaign is a fundraiser that friends and family can help with by filling a baby bottle with spare change. You can also help distribute empty baby bottles to friends, family, businesses, churches, schools, day cares, who ever is willing and have them collect spare change to put into the bottles. All proceeds go directly toward our adoption. You can see how this can be very fun and easy for people to contribute to a good cause. We've already filled two bottles with the change in our house!
If you would like a baby bottle, or would like to hand out baby bottles, please get in contact with myself or Chris. If you are in the Los Angeles area and would like a bottle to fill, I will connect you with my awesome friend Linda. We would love to get a few more captains in the LA/Orange County area too. I can ship you bottles from Amazon and mail you what you need to assemble the bottles. It's just a letter and bottle tag. SO easy! :) You can read all the fun details here: Baby Bottle Campaign or just click the link on the menu bar.
We already have a few friends with bottles...THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!
2/17/14
Seminar Certificate
We received our Adoption Seminar Certificate. :) I know, not that big or exciting news, but it's just one more step closer. Colorado state law requires couples to go to a certified adoption seminar. Check. :)
2/14/14
We're Adopting!
We are very excited to announce we will be growing our family though adoption. If you followed my blog, My Journey to Mommyhood, you already know it's been a very hard and emotional road getting to this point. We feel very relieved that it is all behind us now and we are moving forward. God has a greater plan for us than we ever imagined and we truly feel blessed that God has chosen adoption for us. We are working with Colorado Christian Services and are so grateful we were referred to this agency. We went to their adoption seminar the end of January and it was a wonderful experience. Everyone there was so gracious and caring. It gave us peace knowing we may not be able to have the experience of conceiving our own child, but we get to have an entirely different and beautiful experience. And in the end, we get to fulfill our dream of becoming parents.
We'd like to thank our family and friends for all the support you've given us through this journey. This has been a very long journey and we couldn’t have made it this far and come to this next chapter of our life without the love and support from our family and friends. God has truly blessed us.
We'd like to thank our family and friends for all the support you've given us through this journey. This has been a very long journey and we couldn’t have made it this far and come to this next chapter of our life without the love and support from our family and friends. God has truly blessed us.
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