I feel as I'm in a bubble separate from the rest of the world. I'm so grateful to my friends that understand and are compassionate to how overwhelmed and stressed I feel at the present time. I promise to be back to my normal self soon. This process has literally consumed all of me and trying to balance everything else feels like an impossible task. This is an exciting time and I want to embrace and enjoy each step. This too, is not an easy task. It's crazy that you can be so excited about something, but still feel overwhelmed by it. This Friday I'm going to a women's group and I know the break is going to be good for me.
We've got our fingerprints, done with the applications (yes, plural), have finished most of the other paperwork, and are almost done with the book we are required to read. So, things are getting done. It feels like it's at an extremely slow pace, but it's getting done. We are now trying to finish our autobiographies. Sounds easy, but it's very extensive. I feel like I have to be perfect. I know in reality they are not looking for perfect; they are just looking for stability. It's easy, as I know those who have been through the adoption process will understand, to feel inadequate. I'm the first to admit I am far from perfect. I probably won't even be the perfect parent. The one thing I do know, is in everything I do, I give my all. Which is also why this is all so overwhelming for me, because I'm giving it my all. I'm also very well aware that I only overwhelm myself. I want everything done right NOW. As so many of my wonderful friends keep reminding me, one step at a time. It will all come together.
I can hear the words of my mentor, Yvonne. "Isn't this exciting. Think of how much you are going to learn about yourself." I love her. I miss her. Her words are still with me everyday.
